08.03.10
Posted in General at 8:34 pm by Sarah
I am being broken – broken so that the LORD may rebuild me. Where do you turn when you are discouraged and in need? That says a lot about whom you are trusting and where you are seeking your security, satisfaction, and fulfillment. It is so natural for me to turn to PEOPLE to fill the void which ONLY MY SAVIOR can fill. My closest friends, in which I have sought fulfillment, are being stripped from me. In fact, the LORD has me in a place of solitude – living alone – a place where I have NO OTHER OPTION but to rely on and cry out to Him. Why is that so difficult? Why is it so painful?
The habit of trusting in others instead of my Savior has dug down roots so deep that removing them is a painful process. But they must be uprooted if my life is to be built on the Rock of Christ – the only sure foundation in an ever changing world. This test seems much more difficult and painful than the last, but with the LORD, I will endure the loneliness, the tear-filled nights, the hurt, the discouragement, the silence. In His strength and with His constant presence, I will be raised up from the sinking sand and placed on the Rock of Christ, my God. In this season, my life is being transformed to stand secure upon the ROCK of FAITH.
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07.22.10
Posted in General at 4:39 pm by Sarah
If you know me well, you will know that I have fully mastered the skill of “pouring out my heart.” It often helps me deal with my trials when I am able to process verbally or in writing. But the Lord has recently been stretching me in this area, and in the process, my eyes have been opened to some glaring sins in my life.
Back in February a friend challenged me to take notice of how I listen to those around me, to focus on NOT speaking but instead listening to others and to God. It was then that I began realizing how little I really do LISTEN. Most of the conversations I had with people were focused on ME – MY week, MY life, MY struggles – and when I realized this, it was extremely discouraging. I would leave conversations realizing that I talked the entire time and didn’t learn a single thing about what was going on in the lives of anyone else…and I felt like a failure.
I have been making slow progress in this area, but the Lord is not finished with me yet. He keeps repeating: Don’t speak; LISTEN. It is becoming more common for me to truly rejoice with others in their circumstances – more than before – simply because I took the time to listen and hear what was important to them. But this not only applies to the physical relationships I have here on earth; if my relationship with the Lord is to grow deeper, I need to learn to listen.
I spent a good chunk of this summer at my parents’ house where I grew up. A few weeks ago, I decided to get out my first prayer journal (from when I was 17). It is encouraging to look back and see how much the Lord has taught me since then, but I began noticing an important relational piece that was missing in my relationship with the Lord – taking time to quiet my heart to LISTEN and learn from Him. Don’t get me wrong, I have been learning through Scripture all along, and I have heard the Lord’s voice many times in making decisions; this is simply an area that is being reinforced in my life.
This past week I have been unpacking and organizing my new apartment. My main fear of living alone was that I would be “forgotten.” The Lord has dispelled that fear with His peace AND has been faithful to provide me abundantly with friends in Greeley to visit and spend time with. But today as I finally had some down time, I was drawn to the quietness of the Lord’s presence – not to tell Him about my struggles, fears, and frustrations – but to sit and LISTEN.
A thunderstorm came through this afternoon. As I sat and LISTENED, I realized that for some reason I actually felt CLOSER to the Lord in that moment, physically alone at my apartment with the thunder booming and the wind blowing sheets of rain into my window. I was reminded of His power to control storms such as these – as well as the storms of my life. When struggling through “stormy” trials, sometimes all we need is to sit in a corner of quietness with the Lord. When we take the time to LISTEN, we will hear His voice in the stillness, whispering words that we otherwise would have missed. When we take the time to LISTEN, we will discover who He is.
“Who You Are”
by Enter the Worship Circle
I won’t be satisfied,
I won’t be found alright
Till I find who You are.
I climb every mountain,
I travel the deepest valley
To find who You are.
You…
You cause the lame to walk,
You open lips to talk,
You’re everything,
And that is who You are.
You…
You calm the storms at night,
You turn the dark to light,
You’re everything,
And that is who You are.
My Savior, my Healer, Redeemer,
That is who You are!
Creator, my Maker, my Father,
That is who You are!
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05.27.10
Posted in General at 2:18 pm by Sarah
North Valley Middle School
Saying goodbye and moving on to the next task is a difficult thing for me. Today exemplified the transition I am making as I hugged North Valley teachers goodbye and turned in my classroom and school keys (with tears) and then drove down to Platteville to meet a new staff and embrace my new responsibilities as a 5th grade teacher. It is so easy for me to cling to the good things with which the Lord blesses me, but today I have had several reminders of the eternal perspective.
Before I got my job at North Valley, I adopted “When I Think About the Lord” as the perspective I wanted to have no matter the outcome of my job search. I sang the words as I drove to interviews, I sang them through tears at disappointments, I sang them when He provided me with a middle school job, all the while reminding myself that the Lord’s plan is best. As I pulled away from North Valley Middle School, where I have spent the past 2 years, and headed down to Platteville Elementary, I turned on the song to remind myself again of the Lord’s perfect plan through everything. When thinking about what the Lord has done for me eternally, I am able to thank Him in any and every situation.
When I think about the Lord
How He saved me, how He raised me
How He filled me with the Holy Ghost
How He healed me to the uttermost
When I think about the Lord
How he picked me up, turned me around
How He set my feet
On solid ground
It makes me want to shout
Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus!
Lord, You’re worthy of all the glory,
And all the honor, and all the praise!
Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus!
Lord, You’re worthy of all the glory,
And all the honor, and all the praise!
When I got home and turned on my computer, I was greeted with the Bible verse of the day, Acts 20:24, which also challenged me to take on a different perspective.
“I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”
My role as a teacher has a much deeper purpose that seeing that students can read and write. My role as a Christian teacher (even in a public school) is to share the love of Christ in whatever way possible. The Lord used me in tremendous ways at North Valley Middle School and I was blessed. Now He is moving me to Platteville Elementary because He wants me to serve Him there. My goal in life is to finish the race and complete the task He has given me—to testify to the gospel of God’s grace!
Platteville Elementary School
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05.20.10
Posted in General at 8:34 pm by Sarah
It’s so hard to believe that I have almost finished my second year of teaching! And it is difficult to say goodbye…over the past two years I have grown to love the teachers and the students at North Valley Middle School. Two years ago I was seeking an elementary teaching position, but God chose instead to place me in a middle school. I had no idea what He was doing. I had only four days to prepare for teaching an age group of students I didn’t even know how to relate to, yet He has blessed me abundantly through them.
I had been told that your first teaching job was usually not your dream job, but that if you could just “get your foot in the door,” you’d be well on your way to get there. I suppose my job at North Valley could be considered “getting my foot in the door” since it has lead to a full time position teaching 5th grade…but the past two years were not at all insignificant. In fact, I embraced this new position with such wholeheartedness that it breaks my heart to leave it behind. Who knew I would ever be a middle school teacher?! But I have grown to love middle school students—I love sharing my life with them and helping them learn and grow. I enjoy their humor, their thoughts and ideas, and even their awkwardness.
As I enjoyed life at school today, I realized that there are so many things I will miss about North Valley Middle School:
…like the friendships I’ve made in the teachers and staff and the monthly “Fantastic Friday” potlucks we’ve shared
…like the excitement, generosity, and involvement of students at the Fellowship of Christian Students club every Thursday morning
…like students yelling “Miss Agee!” across the field and waving with their whole bodies as I arrive to school during lunch recess
…like 8th graders giving me high-fives and knuckles as I pass them in the hallways
…like the faces of my gifted and talented students lighting up the second I walk into one of their grade level classrooms
…like my 7th graders’ strange fascination with sitting on their desks, hiding in cupboards, and squishing themselves onto shelves
…like my 6th graders’ eagerness to learn and their HUGE imaginations
…like my 8th graders’ appreciation and love of me, despite their crazy, uncontrollable behavior
The list could go on and on. Every stage of life is so unique and special, making it hard to move on to the next stage, exciting as it may be. The past two years of my life have been a lesson in learning to grow where I’m planted, and as I look back I can see how much I have grown—not only as a teacher but also as a person. The Lord has a purpose in every detail of life, and I am so thankful that He chose to place me at North Valley Middle School to start my teaching career. This adventuresome “detour” has been worth every minute.
“I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart;
I will recount all of Your wonderful deeds.” Psalm 9:1
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05.12.10
Posted in General at 7:37 pm by Sarah
Sometimes at the end of the day I simply feel like a failure as a teacher—once again my 8th graders were out of control today, and I did not know how to respond and did not respond well. I have had some good days with my 8th graders, but for the most part I feel as if we have gotten nowhere. Why does it seem that my classroom management today was no better than it was on the first day of school? The issues are mainly behavioral. These students are consistently rude and disrespectful to each other and to me. They seem to resist any type of structure and order I try to organize for class. I have tried so many different behavior strategies, and nothing seems to work. The things that do work wear off after a couple days or weeks and we’re back to square one. That in itself is discouraging. What do you do when you can’t see any growth or change?
Today started out ok, although I continually feel tense during the entire period of my 8th grade class—it seems like I have to constantly be on guard to catch every little wrong move before it explodes and the whole class dissolves into chaos…and often the class falls apart anyway. And to top it all off, the way class ended today left me feeling stupid and flustered. Instead of saying, “We did not do so well today during presentations; tomorrow we need to work on listening skills,” I said, “We did not do so well tomorrow…” And, of course, they all started laughing and did not even listen to what I was trying to say. 
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05.05.10
Posted in General at 10:28 am by Sarah
O LORD, give me a steadfast, faithful heart in trusting You.
The LORD brought the Israelites out of Egypt,
“Yet they sinned still more against Him, rebelling against the Most High in the desert. They tested God in their heart by demanding the food they craved. They spoke against God, saying, ‘Can God spread a table in the wilderness? He struck the rock so that water gushed out and streams overflowed. Can He also give bread or provide meat for His people?’
“Therefore, when the LORD heard, He was full of wrath; a fire was kindled against Jacob; His anger rose against Israel, because they did not believe in God and did not trust His saving power. Yet He commanded the skies above and opened the doors of heaven, and He rained down on them manna to eat and gave them the grain of heaven. Man ate of the bread of angels; He sent them food in abundance…And they ate and were well filled, for He gave them what they craved…
“In spite of all this, they still sinned; despite His wonders, they did not believe. So He made their days vanish like a breath, and their years in terror. When He killed them, they sought Him; they repented and sought God earnestly. They remembered that God was their rock, the Most High God their redeemer. But they flattered Him with their mouths; they lied to Him with their tongues.
“Their heart was not steadfast toward Him; they were not faithful to His covenant.
“Yet He, being compassionate, atoned for their iniquity and did not destroy them; He restrained His anger often and did not stir up all His wrath. He remembered that they were but flesh. ~Psalm 78:17-39a
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04.15.10
Posted in General at 10:26 am by Sarah
It’s amazing how quickly treasures on earth can be taken from you. In just one quick moment last Wednesday morning, I was in a car accident and totaled my car. After gathering my belongings and getting all the insurance paperwork taken care of this morning, I said goodbye to “Ruby.” This car that I bought less than a year ago was very special to me, though it was only an object. On a very small scale, it reminds me of the story of Job, a man who lost every possession he owned and his entire family except his wife – all in one day.
Yet God is sovereign and controls all situations – even the ones that are terrible and hard to accept. If the things in this world were all I lived for, this would be a strange, twisted thought. It IS difficult to understand why God would allow or even cause bad things to happen, but we must trust what we know about our God – that He is faithful and He is trustworthy. No matter what happens, He is in control of it, and we can trust Him because His character does not change.
Losing earthly possessions is a reminder that we need to fix our eyes and our hearts on what is eternal, and it is there that we find the treasures that we can never lose.
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” ~Matthew 6:19-21
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