The LORD is my Shepherd

On this earth, there will always be something that makes you unhappy. There will always be that feeling of wanting more. If you don’t learn to be content in your present circumstances, you will never be content.

I am 25 and still single. Recently, I have had many people question how I can stand it. They tell me I’ll never meet the right guy in Greeley; they strongly encourage me to try an online dating program — like I have this huge problem that needs to be solved. It’s true that I desire to be married, more than ever before in my life. Sometimes I question God through tears and loneliness. But my God is sovereign, He knows exactly where I am, and He has not forgotten about me. In fact, He has placed me in this season of life for a reason.

So many people see singleness as a problem that needs to be fixed. They think they need to take action because God is not. They are discontent and think that if only they could find someone to marry, they would be content. But that is not true. We think we know what we want, but we will always be discontent — unless we can learn to be content here and now.

Singleness is a season of life, and God is the One who dictates how long that season will last. Our job is to trust Him and enjoy where He is working while we patiently wait His timing for what we desire. God is opening my eyes to see the areas of my life where He is at work — He is using me as a light at school, He is working in relationships in my orchestra, He is giving me enjoyment through violin students, He is providing joy and blessings through friends and children each and every day. I have so many opportunities to pour into the lives of others, to bless them, and to be encouraged in return.

Philippians 4:19 says, “And my God will supply EVERY NEED of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” — and I truly believe that.

It’s like taking my nose away from the white corner labeled “future husband” and stepping back to behold the beautiful colors of the rest of the painting where God is at work. And in seeing this, my heart is content.

“Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;
a stranger, and not your own lips.” ~Proverbs 27:2

If you had asked me five years ago about my dream job, I would have responded that all I wanted was to teach 1^st grade in a small, rural town. Today I realized that my dream job has not changed, but somehow what I am doing right now (5^th grade in the small, rural town of Platteville) is my dream job.

I have a wonderful group of 5^th graders this year. They are helpful, loving, and enthusiastic about learning. After my principal observed me for the 2^nd time this year, he told me that my greatest strength as a teacher is my ability to develop relationships. He also commented that it seems like I relate well to this age group (10-11 year olds). I do love them. They are all so unique and dynamic. It’s exciting to learn about their personalities, encourage them in their strengths, and support them in their weaknesses. I love the day-to-day interaction and growth. One student wrote me a note one day that said, “Friendship isn’t one big thing; it’s a million little things.” That is so true. It’s the day-to-day little things that matter the most.

Today (the day before Christmas break) started with craziness and ended with reflection. First, we embarked on a search for a student’s missing bubble sheet for EVERY test she had taken this week. We were determined to find it – otherwise, she would have to take all the tests again – in one day. Amazingly, we were able to recover it from the recycling box in my classroom without much trouble.

Mid-morning, it was time to open some gifts. I am learning recently about our need for human relationships. We were created to travel life together. I purchased a copy of our next read-aloud book (The Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler) for each student and wrote a personal message inside the front cover of each one. I was able to find something special to write to each student. I thought the boys wouldn’t care much for their notes, but they surprised me. As soon as they had read them, several of the boys began asking me if they could read their note out loud to the entire class! Soon, the girls joined in, and we spent about 10 minutes while almost every student read their personal note out loud. While one student was reading, the other students would smile and agree as the compliments were shared. It was a sweet time of class bonding.

Every year on the last day before Christmas break, Platteville Elementary has an all-school sing-along. Every student and teacher, along with bunches of parents, cram into the gym to sing Christmas carols and hear The Night Before Christmas read by the principal. This year, I got to play violin for the sing-along! It was amazing. I had been nervous all morning, but it all melted away as the hundreds of kids files into the gym with bright eyes of excitement upon seeing my violin. “Look! A violin!” “Miss Agee’s going to play the violin!” Though we barely practiced at all beforehand, I loved it. The kids sang their hearts out, and my confidence grew with every song. I got to play the first verse of Silent Night as an instrumental, which was so good. When the sing-along was over, the principal thanked the music teacher and then me. Upon hearing “Miss Agee,” the gym exploded with cheering and clapping. I felt so honored, I can’t even describe it in words.

But the realization of my dream job didn’t come until after the craziness of the Christmas party, as the day began winding down and everyone began to reflect. Sometimes when I look at people, my heart hurts because I can see something difficult in their lives – some burden that they carry in their eyes. When I student taught 1^st grade, many of the kids came from very difficult homes. Right before a long break, they usually acted funny because school was their safe place…and they wouldn’t be at school for a week or more. I had kinda forgotten about that until today.

One student in particular was clingy all day. When I was supposed to be practicing with the music teacher, she came and found me – twice. This afternoon when it was time to go, she came up to me and flung her arms around me. “Miss Agee, I’m excited for break, but it won’t be good without you.” I wasn’t sure what to say. Instantly, I was taken back to the 1^st grade classroom at Highland Elementary. I was fully aware of the needs and hurts of this 10-year-old girl, who just wants someone to love her. She is constantly seeking attention from others because of how little she gets at home…but I have connected with her. She loves writing, and so do I. Even the tiniest word of encouragement makes her beam.

Another student burst into tears when the bell rang and most of the students bounced out of the room. “I don’t want to leave,” she said through tears into my shoulder as I hugged her. Seeing these students’ love for school made me realize that this is right where I have always wanted to be – this is my dream job. It was not the 1^st grade part I was so in love with; it was the I-am-needed part. It is such a privilege and blessing for me to pour into and love these students – I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

Psalm 93: “1The LORD reigns; He is robed in majesty; the LORD is robed; He has put on strength as His belt. Yes, the world is established from of old; it shall never be moved 2Your throne is established from of old; You are from everlasting. 3The floods have lifted up, O LORD, the floods have lifted up their voice; the floods lift up their roaring. 4Mightier than the thunders of many waters, mightier than the waves of the sea, the LORD on high is mighty! 5Your decrees are very trustworthy; holiness befits Your house, O LORD, forevermore.”

Today’s meditation: 1LORD, You are King! Majesty, glory, power, and strength are Yours alone! My world is firmly established on You, Rock of Ages, Who is the same yesterday, today, and forever! 2You are Eternal God; You are my firm foundation. 3The floods of this world rise up and threaten to engulf me, BUT 4You, O LORD, are mightier than the waves of every storm. Though the waves crash and thunder around me, I have peace and joy, for You are mightier! 5You declare every step that I take, and You are a God I can trust. Forever You are set apart as holy, for You are God. You are my God – what shall I fear?

My 5th grade students and I have spent a considerable amount of time this year focusing on how to include descriptions of the 5 senses in our writing to depict the reality of life more accurately. The sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and things we touch in this world are so real to us because we are surrounded by them each and every day. Colossians 3:2 says, however, “Set your minds on things that are above, not on earthly things.” How often are we aware of the reality of God and His Kingdom? Much of the time, the reality of our circumstances here on earth crowd out the spiritual Kingdom for which we, as Christians, live.

Some don’t even believe that such a Kingdom exists because all they can see is the world we live in here and now. But the Bible points us toward a Kingdom–and a God–that is real enough to taste, see, smell, hear, and touch.

Taste: “O taste and see that the LORD is good.” (Psalm 34:8)

Smell: “All Thy garments smell of myrrh, and aloes, and cassia, out of the ivory palaces.” (Psalm 45:8)

Hear: “My sheep hear My voice.” (John 10:27)

Sight: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (Matthew 5:8)

Feel/Touch: “When You did awesome things that we did not look for, You came down, the mountains quaked at Your presence.” (Isaiah 64:3)

The unseen Kingdom of our Creator God is just as present as the things we see daily. Sadly, it is unnoticed by many people. It takes the eyes and ears of faith to observe it for the reality that it is. “For what can be known about God is plain to men, because God has shown it to them. For His invisible attributes, namely, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.” (Romans 1:19-20)