“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
~Matthew 11:28

I can’t even pinpoint exactly what I’m struggling with, but this whole semester has been an emotional struggle for me. I pray that God would help me to be thankful and to praise His Name during this time. As a result of many difficult things, He has drawn me closer to Him this semester.

Today’s hymn in my devotion book, Burdens are Lifted at Calvary by John M. Moore, is very encouraging.

Days are filled with sorrow and care, hearts are lonely and drear;
burdens are lifted at Calvary – Jesus is very near.

Cast your cares on Jesus today, leave your worry and fear;
burdens are lifted at Calvary – Jesus is very near.

Troubled soul, the Savior can see ev’ry heartache and tear;
burdens are lifted at Calvary – Jesus is very near.

Chorus: Burdens are lifted at Calvary, Calvary, Calvary;
burdens are lifted at Calvary – Jesus is very near.

“In his heart a man plans his course,
but the Lord determines his steps.”
~Proverbs 16:9

Well, I’m staying up till midnight so I can register (not that it’s that hard for me to stay up till midnight ). Registering has always been stressful for me. The problem is, I love to plan ahead and have everything planned out (yeah, I’m one of those people). I do like surprises in the form of gifts, but I usually like to be prepared for stuff. So I plan my schedule for the next semester pretty much as soon as they post the classes. But then I tend to get worried about it because I want to make sure I will get into all the classes that I want and get the schedule that I want.

Then I check the classes periodically to make sure there are still seats left in them, and I get anxious if there are only a few seats left. It’s not SO bad anymore because I have more credits so I get to register before a lot of people, but there are still a couple classes that I need to take that only have 3 or 4 seats left.

But I decided that I don’t want to worry about it this time because really there’s no reason to worry about it. I even made myself NOT look at the class schedule again until tonight because I didn’t want to be worrying myself over it all weekend. God knows my schedule and He has my entire future planned out. He tells us to “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” (Philippians 4:6).

The other day on my prayer walk, I was praying for a friend who had asked for prayer about the future. It was then that I realized that God already knows what my schedule will be in the fall, and He will make sure that it’s the best for me. I know it seems like something simple, but I hadn’t really thought about it that way. That really comforted me. I have no control over the future, but God does. That is so encouraging to me – instead of worrying about stuff way in the future, all I have to do is trust the One who already knows the future!

“Here am I. Send me!” ~Isaiah 6:8b

So I know I’m already going to Spain this summer with the orchestra…and I know this is really sudden…but this is SO awesome! I think I’m going to go on a mission trip to Juarez, Mexico this summer to help at an orphanage!!!

Tonight at Bible study, my friend Julie announced that she is going to Mexico the first week in June to help with an orphanage and that any of us were invited to come if we wanted to. As soon as she said it, this spark of excitement went through me, and I REALLY wanted to go! It’s very cool for me because I’ve never felt called to go on a mission trip before. I’ve been on two mission trips, but they both were not really my decision to go and I definitely didn’t feel called like I’m feeling right now. Plus the fact that it falls right in the middle of the free part of my summer (between the trip to Spain and teaching at the summer camps)! That in itself is amazing!

I went on my first mission trip when I was 13. We went to Sanders, Arizona to do a Vacation Bible School with the Indian kids there and help at this church there. It was a family mission trip, so whole families from my church went. My family went, so I went along. I had a lot of fun, but looking back, I feel like I went more just to have fun and I didn’t really feel like I was going for the right reasons.

The second mission trip I went on 2 years ago, right after I graduated from high school. We went to San Francisco to help at YWAM (Youth with a mission), but it wasn’t really my choice to go because I kind of just went because my best friend was going. So I never really felt excited about it or anything. I did learn a lot, but I still feel like I didn’t learn as much as I could have if I had really wanted to go.

Sometimes I’ve wondered why I’ve never felt called to go on a mission trip or anything. I’ve seen other people get so excited about going to so many places on mission trips, and really when I’ve heard about ones that I could go on, I feel guilty because I don’t want to go. This year has been totally AWESOME as far as my spiritual life! I’ve grown more than I think I ever have, and I’ve been excited about so many things that God is teaching me.

It’s really cool because just last week I was telling my friend Sarah that if I ever went on a mission trip in the future (and I seriously wasn’t thinking THIS SUMMER), I would want to go help at an orphanage somewhere! So when Julie mentioned that tonight, I got SO excited because that was the one type of mission work I was thinking that I would enjoy! This whole thing just totally amazes me! I can’t stop talking about it and thinking about it! (Just ask my roommates ).

I have always been interested in orphanages. When I was younger, I remember always wanting to watch the news whenever they had stuff about the orphanages in Romania. I don’t even remember why they were talking about it on the news, but I LOVED seeing the children in Romania. And then last Christmas break, I started thinking that I might want to be a foster parent someday in the future. That’s another thing that just excites me. I mean, kids excite me in general, but I just feel like that’s something I would really like to do someday. So this is AWESOME that I can maybe (I haven’t talked to my parents yet…) go help with an orphanage because I might get an idea of what it’s like to serve and help children who are in need of love.

Of course over the next couple of months I will need a lot of prayer and I will need to prepare myself for this, but I feel SO refreshed and excited, it’s unbelievable! Man, if you EVER feel like this, it’s AWESOME! Praise God!

So often when we go through trials we just want to escape them. We want to run away and hide rather than face our difficult times. I have definitely felt this way at times in the past few weeks. God has been working in my life a lot this semester, and I have realized that being in trials is not all bad. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

Instead of grumbling and trying to get out of a situation, we should praise and thank God for our trials. “Be joyful always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 5:16-18 It’s during our difficult times that we grow the most. I have found myself leaning on God for strength just to get through one day sometimes. There will always be bad times in our lives; it’s how we handle them that makes the difference.

As the girls were chatting the next day, another closet started to crack open. The girls looked at each other and then stood up. The shy girl moved forward at once and beckoned for her friend to come. Her friend hesitated and stepped forward slowly. The stuff in this closet was not as old and dusty as the junk in the previous closet had been. The girls peered in. The shy girl began to talk about the pieces. Her friend crossed her arms. The shy girl talked on. Her friend finally ordered her to stop. She didn’t want to know about this junk. She didn’t want to hear any more.

The two girls returned to their chairs by the fire, but the room was slightly darker than it had been before. The friend stood up to leave. As the shy girl bid her goodbye at the door, there was another girl standing outside. The three girls talked for a short while. Then the two friends left the shy girl standing on her porch, a weight upon her back. As she watched the two girls go off together, the shy girl began to sob and cry. She dropped to her knees and wept. Finally, she stood up, went inside her house, and closed the door. The man that had taken away her old junk entered the dimly lit cottage, took the girl in His arms, and held her all night long.

The next morning, the girl woke up to a knock on her door. She looked over and noticed that the closet doors were all closed and the junk was tidied up. Her two friends were at the door, and the invited her to go play outside. She went, and she had fun, but it was different than before.

After the newest friend went home, the shy girl went over to her friend’s house. The house was dimly lit and a little cluttered. The two girls sat and talked for a little while. The friend started cleaning up the clutter, talking about it as she picked it up. The shy girl sat patiently listening, watching as the trash can in the corner of the room slowly filled to the brim. None of the closets opened.

As the shy girl left, a new friend appeared at the door. This friend entered the house, and the shy girl’s friend emptied out the trash onto the floor and began to go through it again with this new friend. Then the two girls went to the newest friend’s house, and the other friend joined them.

The shy girl sat at home, waiting for the other girls to invite her over. They never did. Her friend sometimes came over, and they sat in the main room and talked, but the closets remained shut. Sometimes the three girls would invite the shy girl, but she didn’t want to go because she had been left out. Other times, they would talk about the fun things that they were going to do, without even acknowledging that the shy girl was there.

The shy girl shut herself up in her house often, to be comforted by the kind man. She would talk to Him about it, and He would always leave the room brighter than when He came. The girl went about her business, cleaning out her closets all by herself. The man would always come to listen to her and then he would take her stuff away. The shy girl did invite her friends over sometimes, and she sometimes hung out with them. But her closets never opened to them.

To be continued…

“But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.”
~Psalm 3:3

“But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.”
~Psalm 13:5-6