Why is it so difficult to trust the Lord sometimes? I feel like I’ve been in some new “level” of training this week–like I’ve already learned to trust the Lord in previous trials and situations, so He’s put me in a new situation to see if I’ll trust Him here, too.
I went into the week with extreme fear and anxiety because God was making one of my fears a reality. But even in my state of terrifying fear, I had to fight so hard to get myself to trust Him. Everything in me just wanted to remain terrified and try to control everything myself. In this I’ve seen more of my VERY stubborn and sinful heart. I still have a lot of pride, control, and anxiety that need to be broken.
But the situation actually wasn’t nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. I learned that God gives grace as grace is needed. It’s not like I can store up His strength ahead of time so that I don’t need to call on Him in times of trouble. That would not be trust. As it turned out, when I did have to walk through this fear of mine, God gave me the grace moment by moment to trust Him. The situation was still difficult, but I was surprised in seeing how God so carefully provided for me.