I still remember the first time I had to drive past the location of my car accident last winter. Sick to my stomach with anxiety and fear, I sat on the bathroom floor, tears streaming down my face. I texted several friends, seeking comfort and encouragement. It was getting to the point where I was going to be late for work. “I just want someone to go with me!” came the cry from my heart. Then came the soft response from the Lord Jesus: “You are not alone. I will go with you.” Though the tears continued, with new strength I rose and grabbed my keys. I am not alone.
I had discovered Kari Jobe’s song titled “I Am Not Alone” a few days after my car accident, and I listened to that song over and over and over again as I learned how to drive again. The words sang truth into my heart. They helped me gain confidence and trust in the Lord. One morning as I drove, I was surrounded by the most magnificent sunrise. I felt such great peace, because just as the sunrise surrounded my car, the Lord’s presence was surrounding my heart.
But the thing is that I am forgetful. Though I learned to trust God in one aspect of life, I doubt God’s goodness again when the next trial comes. I try to control things instead of trusting. I try to see the future instead of resting in the surrounding love and goodness of my Savior.
I was feeling overwhelmed tonight by many situations that are bigger than me, things I don’t understand. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I cried out to the Lord for His help. I reached over to my phone and turned on my “Comfort” playlist. And what song should start playing but Kari Jobe’s “I Am Not Alone.” Slowly, reminders of learning to trust the Lord came flooding back to me. Though I have somewhat ignored His presence in the midst of overwhelming circumstances, He has never left me. He is still here, and He will go with me. I am not alone.
In You, O Lord, I put my trust. The steadfast love of the Lord surrounds the one who trusts in Him. Let Your faithful love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in You alone. (Psalm 31-33)