Surrender

Posted on June 23, 2011 by Sarah

Surrender is often viewed as “giving up” and doing nothing. Over the past several weeks, I’ve been learning a different definition of surrender – and what that looks like in a practical way for Christians trying to follow the will of God in this world. In a sense, surrender does mean giving up; it means giving up our own desires and plans in order to replace them with the Lord’s. It is a constant giving of our everything – every joy, every sorrow, every desire, every fear, every possession, every relationship – so that we may be aligned with how the Lord is asking us to serve.

There is so much more joy in serving when we know for a fact it is the Lord’s will. I have recently experienced a specific example of this. The Lord has given me the gift of playing violin and a heart to serve Him with that gift. Sometimes, however, I take it all for granted, expecting that I will be the one to play violin at such and such an event. Do you hear my prideful heart in this? It is a gift – to be used in the ways the Lord asks me to serve. This prideful heart leads to hurt when I am not chosen for something I am “qualified for.” But the Lord does not ask us to serve in every single thing we are qualified for; He asks us to serve wholeheartedly in what He does ask us to do.

Last week I sat down to surrender my heart and was surprised by how drastically the Lord changed my perspective. Earlier in the week, I had received a phone call from a woman from my church asking if I would play violin at her mother-in-law’s funeral. I agreed, not realizing what the Lord was doing in this. I had wanted to play at a different event and had not been chosen, but here was what the Lord was asking me to do. I came away from prayer that day encouraged to wholeheartedly play at the funeral, for this is what the Lord had asked me to do…and I was so very blessed.

Sometimes we do not surrender every part of ourselves to the Lord because we’re afraid of losing something…but nothing that is placed in the Lord’s hands is ever lost. When we release our grip on the things to which we cling so tightly, we receive showers of blessings from the Lord, and the Lord’s blessings are so much sweeter.

Categories: Spiritual Growth, Surrender/Repentance | Leave a comment

See the LORD working

Posted on June 1, 2011 by Sarah

“Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will work for you today…The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” (Exodus 14:13-14)

Just a few years ago, I was terrified to be alone. While student teaching, my breaks were different than the many college students surrounding me, and I began to find myself ALONE more often. I dreaded the weeks I spent without roommates. The LORD has been working in this area of fear to turn what was once a dreaded experience into showers of blessings.

I lived alone for almost a year, during which the LORD drew me closer to Himself than I’ve ever been before. Now He has blessed me with a roommate in my sister (though we haven’t spent much time living together yet). She flew to Ghana, Africa yesterday for a 2 week mission trip, and as I drove up to Greeley this morning from my parents’ house in Arvada, I had a flashback of my fear. However, it felt different this time. Once you have grown in your faith, the struggles of the past often seem insignificant.

I found myself remembering how, on a drive much like today’s, I used to be so emotionally torn up. The days ahead spent ALONE seemed like torture, and I was literally scared to tears. But I have learned something over the years – I can always trust the LORD to provide for my every need. I used to think I needed companionship and friends during those days of living alone; now I can sit for hours on end alone with only the LORD.

But there’s another thing I’ve learned about the LORD – He always blesses abundantly beyond what we ask or imagine. When I left Arvada for Greeley this morning, the days and weeks ahead (living alone without my sister) were filled with endless free time – time which could potentially result in loneliness. But I silently reminded myself that the LORD would take care of me – He always has. And He did, so abundantly – as soon as I arrived in Greeley, I began receiving calls and texts and messages from friends wanting to hang out! Some people may overlook incidents like this. Of course my friends want to hang out – it’s summertime, and they have more free time. But with the LORD, there is no coincidence or “chance,” and He has spoken blessings to my heart through this abundance of friendships.

The LORD is working for you today – you have only to be silent.

Categories: Character of God, Fear/Anxiety, Spiritual Growth | 1 Comment

Goodbye, F204

Posted on April 29, 2011 by Sarah

“Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His steadfast love endures forever! This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” ~Psalm 118:1, 24

Categories: Just Life | Leave a comment

Maintenance Man Magnet

Posted on April 28, 2011 by Sarah

On Friday, I called the maintenance men because a smoke detector was beeping in my apartment. On Saturday, the maintenance men came to knock down a wasp nest on the outside of my apartment. On Monday, I called the maintenance men because the fire in our fireplace wasn’t working…until they showed up, and it appeared to be in perfect working order. On Tuesday, I called the maintenance man at school because the rain was leaking through the ceiling into my classroom. Tonight I called the maintenance men…again.

I stepped into my apartment at 4:30. It had been a long day, and I had a headache. As I shuffled down the hallway, I heard a sound I have come to dread – the single, screeching beep of a smoke detector. For the past 3 evenings, I have spent time cleaning my old apartment and was looking forward to finally enjoying a peaceful evening here at the new place. At the sound of that ear-splitting screeching, however, I knew my headache would only get worse. After hearing more sporadic beeping, I walked around the apartment, trying to figure out which one it was…there are 4 of them. At first, I thought it was the one in the hallway, but after a while I decided that it must be the one in Becca’s bedroom. Every time I stood around listening for it, the beeping stopped.

I finally got so frustrated, I called the apartment office. When the short maintenance man showed up, the beeping had stopped completely. He walked around and waited. He replaced the battery. Still no beeping. He left to call “the boss.” There was that annoying beep again! When he returned, he replaced the entire smoke detector and proceeded to wait for about 10 more minutes. Nothing happened, so he left.

Before long, I heard the beep again. With a sigh, I figured I would just have to suffer through it. As I fixed my dinner, the beeps were loudly coming from the living room – not Becca’s room. Maybe we had gotten the wrong smoke detector. After pacing the hallway, I realized that both smoke detectors were beeping. It was like a conversation. “Beeeeeeeeeeeeep!” “Beeeep!” “Beep!” Beeeeeeeeeeep!”

So, once again, I called the maintenance men…this time with the emergency maintenance number. This time, the bald, southern maintenance man showed up. “Ya’ll in the band?” he asked as he moved my guitar and violin to set up his ladder in the living room. “What grade d’ya’ll teach?” he asked as he carried his ladder down the hall to Becca’s room. He replaced the batteries, but the beeping continued. He took the detector completely down from Becca’s room. The living room detector beeped once, and he said, “Now which one was that?” We paced back and forth in silence, looking at each other, hoping it wouldn’t beep again. “I can bring up a plug-in detector for that back room if it’d make you feel better,” he said. He left, and I waited in the stifled silence, hoping the dreaded beeps wouldn’t return.

The maintenance man entered again with a small plug-in detector. He plugged it in, and “Beeeeep!” “Now which one was that?” he declared. We waited, listening. “Beeeeeep!” went the little plug-in detector. “Maybe you should just take that with you,” I said. “I think this place must be haunted…just jokin’!” he said jovially. After several more minutes of silence, he left…and so far, so good. They’ll be returning tomorrow to inspect the wires.

Strange, though…he told me that the man who lived here before never called them up here for any problems. I guess I’m just a maintenance man magnet.

Categories: Just Life | 1 Comment

Prayer for Contentment

Posted on April 11, 2011 by Sarah

Dear Friend – not just Friend – my Lord, my Savior, my Comforter, my Beloved, my Provider,

This place is a place perfectly designed that I may find You.

You are the Keeper of my tears, and You hold my feelings in Your hand. You know my deepest desire. You know my greatest need. You provide for me to bring me great joy. Who am I to determine what will make my joy fullest? The only reason I’m desiring change is because I believe that something else will bring me greater joy.

But, Lord, my joy comes from You. My contentment is in You. My satisfaction is in You. And You are right here. Here in the torrential storm of my heart. And when my eyes are on You, I see the rainbow, and the rain becomes a refreshing shower to soften the heard, distrustful edges of my heart.

Please take control of my heart. I only want to desire Your will. Any trials I face, I face with You. Make my heart open to completely accept Your will without doubt. Give me the wisdom to see Your work clearly, and may I rejoice at the sight.

~Amen

Categories: Peace/Contentment, Spiritual Growth | Leave a comment

The LORD is my Shepherd

Posted on February 27, 2011 by Sarah

My newly finished sketch – the intimacy and trust relationship with Yahweh Raah.

Categories: Character of God, Spiritual Growth | Leave a comment

Clouds…or Blessing?

Posted on February 16, 2011 by Sarah

God Moves in a Mysterious Way
William Cowper, 1774
Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings, in blessings
In blessings on your head.

I am on the verge of probably losing my job…again. The unknown is often like a dark cloud. It casts a shadow over your life when your trust in the Lord falters. Yet the Lord delights in blessing His children. Recently, I have especially appreciated the above chorus from Jeremy Riddle’s arrangement of the hymn, God Moves in a Mysterious Way. Though we are fearful of what appears to be a dark cloud that will only bring trouble, the Lord “rains down” blessings instead.

I experienced this on a small-scale just this week. Yesterday seemed like a dark cloud—on top of having parent/teacher conferences from 3:30 to 7:00 after school, I was being observed by our professional development administrator. And then, after a long day, I would still have to prepare for teaching on Wednesday. I was stressed before the day began. As I drove to school, I thought, “Tuesdays are always terrible days.” However, the Lord surprised me by raining down His blessings from this “dark cloud.”

Though I was a bit nervous at first when Amy (the professional development administrator) and Julie (my school’s instructional coach) entered the room to observe, I soon relaxed. My students were actively engaged in the day’s writing lesson. I am preparing them to write a persuasive essay proving the innocence or guilt of Jack from the familiar fairy tale, “Jack and the Beanstalk.” We were reading the tale and analyzing the characters’ behaviors. By the end of the lesson, my students were in a full-out debate on the issue. It was amazing—more perfect than I could have planned!

Amy and Julie loved the lesson—so much so that they bragged to the principal about it! During my follow-up meeting, they helped me brainstorm some more ideas as I continue teaching the unit. Later, during my dinner break in between conferences, Julie told me to come see her when I got a chance because she had something for me. When I walked into her office, she excitedly handed me a stack of papers. “Ever since we observed your lesson, I can’t stop thinking about it! Here’s a bunch of stuff I thought might help you out with your unit.” She had written down discussion questions and included a packet of persuasive writing materials.

I was astounded and shook my head as I walked down the hall to my classroom to continue conferences. Right there, God had broken open my “cloud” to bless me. These ideas and materials were exactly what I needed. And the blessings continue—this morning before school I met with Julie again, and she helped me even more with specific things I needed for today’s lesson. The Lord is so faithful to provide for me—even in the little things. I am surprised that I ever doubt Him. Why fear the clouds? For without them, the sunset wouldn’t be as beautiful.

Categories: Perspective, Spiritual Growth, Teaching | Leave a comment