This little pink notebook–my prayer notebook–has become very precious to me this summer. Inside are listed the names and requests of the people for whom I pray regularly. Inside are written the names of my new 4th grade students, so that I can pray for them each by name. Inside are documented some attributes of God with corresponding verses which I have prayed through monthly with some very dear friends.
Ever since college I have enjoyed praying for others, and I have aspired to be a woman of prayer. This summer the Lord has used my time of living alone to transform and shape me more into a prayer warrior for His glory.
At the start of the summer, I was afraid of being alone, afraid of being lonely. I am a planner…so I made plans. But I was trusting in my plans and my schedule instead of trusting the Lord. I was just trying to keep myself busy so that I could avoid being alone. On Sundays fear gripped me when I left church if I felt like I hadn’t scheduled enough get-togethers with people throughout the week. And when the plans I had made fell through, I fell apart.
A friend of mine called me on his lunch break one day in early July to talk to me about this. He encouraged me to stop making plans with the wrong motivation and to face my fear of being alone, trusting that God would be sufficient for me. It completely changed my perspective, and I began to seek the Lord to help me change my motives, to help me trust Him even if I was alone.
The next week a woman who has been a mentor to me brought it to my attention that I had a selfish attitude about a particular situation, and I began to see a self-centered mindset in other areas of my life as well, specifically my relationships. This devastated me. So I sought the counsel of friends and prayed to the Lord — I want to be selfless and serve those around me.
How can I be less selfish? One friend suggested posting people’s names around my house to help me think of others more often. Since then, God brings people to my mind all the time, and I feel so burdened to pray for and encourage them. I began training myself to think about and pray for others during my time alone, and it is such a precious blessing to spend my time like this! Sometimes I will just pull out my little pink notebook to sit and speak to my Lord — praising Him, thanking Him, and interceding for those I love.
I have this Jerry Bridges quote on the first page of my prayer notebook: “Prayer is the expression of your confidence in the sovereignty of God.” I love that. In my confidence that God is sovereign, my prayers to Him are a reflection of my heart’s belief in this truth. Because I am confident in who my God is, I can cast my burdens (and the burdens of others) at His feet, knowing that He will work all things for good, according to His perfect will.
Now, as my summer is just about over, I realize that I have hardly been lonely at all. Sure, I have spent countless hours by myself, but God has been faithful to help me fill my time with things that are honoring to Him. And do you know what? Instead of loneliness, I feel full. God is so very good. So, so good. My heart is thankful. And there is still so much room to grow! I am looking forward to continuing my journey of prayer with some new reading material that just arrived in the mail today! :)